Pacer Pillowtalk: Ethical non-monogamy
In the United States, monogamy is generally defined as two people agreeing to have sex only with each other.
Non-monogamous relationships differ in that they vary in openness, structure, rules and emotional connection. In the United States, there are people who practice non-monogamy as a form of religious practice, such as polygyny involved in Islam or the Latter-Day Saints church.
There are others, more liberal groups, who seek out Pagan clubs, and an even entirely different group that considers their non-monogamy a part of their BDSM culture.
But is this ethical? Is it healthy?
Silverstein and Kegu of CBS News explain that four to five percent of people that live in the United States are participating in an ethically non-monogamous relationship. Comparatively, that is almost equal to the population of Americans that identify as LGBTQ.
Monogamy expert and author Elisabeth Sheff, Ph.D. explains that there are seven different types of non-monogamy.
However, not every type is ethical or seen as equal in the modern world, primarily in the United States.
Sheff considers the seven forms of non-monogamy to include: cheating, polygamy, open relationships, swinging, being “monogamish,” polyamory/polyfidelity, and relationship anarchy. Not all of these forms of non-monogamy are to be considered ethical, and many are not openly accepted in U.S. culture, even amongst ethical non-monogamous culture.
The most ethically-based non-monogamous relationships are amongst those of polyamory and polyfidelity. Polyamory is a particular relationship where people are in multiple relationships, (whether of the sexual or romantic kind, or both) with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Polyfidelity is much alike, except that it requires fidelity in all respects to a group of more than two.
There can be quite close relationships in these groups amongst certain partners that are not sexual, and we call these polyaffective as they are emotionally intimate in nature.
Whether or not these are ethical or healthy really depends on the parties involved. Something ethical to us may not be to someone else, and vice versa.
All we can do is respect people and their sexual choices.
